Kids who see aggressive and unkind interactions in the family often learn to treat others the same way. And kids who are taunted learn that bullying can translate into control over children they see as weak. Let your child know that bullying is not OK and can bring serious consequences at home, school, and in the community if it continues.
Try to understand the reasons behind your child's behavior. In some cases, kids bully because they have trouble managing strong emotions like anger, frustration, or insecurity.
In other cases, kids haven't learned cooperative ways to work out conflicts and understand differences. It's natural — and common — for kids to fight with their siblings at home. And unless there's a risk of physical violence, it's wise not to get involved. But keep an eye on the name-calling and fighting, and talk to each child regularly about what's acceptable and what's not.
Keep your own behavior in check too. Think about how you talk around your kids and how you handle conflict and problems. If you behave aggressively — toward or in front of your kids — chances are they'll follow your example. Instead, point out positives in others, not negatives. When conflicts arise in your own life, be open about your frustration and how you cope with your feelings. There will be situations that need discipline and helpful criticism. But don't let that slip into name-calling and accusations.
If you don't like your child's behavior, stress that it's the behavior that you'd like your child to change, and you have confidence that they can do it. If a stressful life event at home may affect your child's behavior, get help from resources at school and in your community.
Guidance counselors, pastors, therapists, and your doctor can help. If your child has a history of arguing, defiance, and trouble controlling anger, consider getting an evaluation with a therapist or behavioral health professional. As frustrating as it can be to help kids stop bullying, remember that bad behavior won't stop on its own.
Calm and caring conversations with you will also help your child feel loved, supported and understood. You could also tell your child that the person doing the bullying might:. If your child is being bullied, you need to get help from preschool staff as quickly as you can.
Bullying is a serious issue, and most preschools will have policies and procedures for managing it. They can work with you to stop it. Not all aggression is bullying at this age. It takes time to change behaviour, so you might not see overnight results. But you should feel that your child is safe and being cared for while the preschool teacher is working on the problem behaviour. If your child is being bullied, you should always step in.
This can help your child to handle any future bullying. You and your child could pick one or two ideas that your child feels comfortable using. Encourage your child to put the ideas into action. This will help your child feel more confident and less powerless about being bullied. At home your child needs a lot of support and love while you and the preschool teacher work on stopping the bullying.
You could aim to have a time each day when you chat with your child about the good and bad parts of their day. Sometimes professional support might help your child deal with bullying. You can ask your GP or the preschool teacher about where you can go for professional help.
What if your child is the one doing the bullying? Give them appropriate ways to do so and practice. Regardless if your child is the bully or getting bullied, developing healthy relationships is a major developmental milestone that needs your support and encouragement as much as any other.
For more information about bullying, visit Stop Bullying. This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. Bullying and the preschool child.
Michigan State University Extension has the following suggestions for helping preschoolers who are bullies or being bullied: Parents and child care providers should encourage skills such as sharing, helping and including others. This will prevent bullying from occurring, reoccurring or intensifying. Offer praise when witnessing children in the act of relating well with peers.
When we make an effort to notice and praise young children for random acts of kindness, we are developing self-esteem and confidence to help them now and in the future. Set limits and clear rules for behavior. Adults need to be ready to quickly stop aggressive behavior or redirect it before it occurs. Kids may need constant reminders. Is your kid being bullied? They complain of bellyaches or headaches before being dropped off at a playdate, daycare or preschool.
Do they need to feel powerful and in control? Are they hot-tempered or quick to resort to aggression?
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